Date Released: May 28, 1993
The Super Mario Bros. film…isn’t that bad.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, it's not that good either. The film is nonsensical, tone deaf, and stupid, but to say I don’t find some enjoyment in the viewing experience would be an outright lie. The most blatant issue with Super Mario Bros. is how incredibly unfaithful it is to the source material. In adapting an already bizarre video game series (because when you get right down to it, the Mario universe is about as logical as Wonderland) the film manages to rival its weirdness in a completely disconnected manner. Yet if one can look past such major discrepancy and view Super Mario Bros. as just a really strange fantasy adventure, it’s actually kind of fun…in a stupid, tone deaf, nonsensical manner.
The film follows brothers Mario (Bob Hoskins) and Luigi (John Leguizamo), two Brooklyn freelance plumbers who call themselves the “Mario Bros.” (the makers missed an opportunity in the brothers initially calling themselves the “Super Mario Bros.” as an eye-catching business name). While on the job, they meet a college student named Daisy (Samantha Mathis) who Luigi takes a fancy to. Daisy oversees a worksite under the Brooklyn Bridge where they’ve recently discovered dinosaur bones. While on a date with Luigi, the pair happen upon the brothers’s rival plumbers the Scapellis sabotaging Daisy’s worksite by opening the nearby water pipes.
Quickly getting Mario, the trio race back to fix the flooding, yet are attacked by a couple of goons named Spike (Richard Edson) and Iggy (Fisher Stevens) who kidnap Daisy. The brothers pursue the kidnappers yet can only retrieve a rock necklace from Daisy’s neck. Taking a literal leap of faith, the brothers find themselves transported to an alternate dimension where dinosaurs remained the dominant species and evolved into humans. There, the brothers search for Daisy, all the while being hunted by the dimension’s evil King Koopa (Dennis Hopper)—who wishes to use Daisy and her rock (in fact, a meteorite) to connect their dimension with ours.
Bob Hoskins’ casting as Mario is both a blessing and saving grace for the film. I estimate ninety-five percent of the film’s enjoyable scenes are because of Hoskins. Hoskins’ comedic skills here are sharp and humorous. In one scene, Mario tries charming a lady named Big Bertha only to get punched in the face. The punch causes Mario to briefly rub his face before, without missing a beat, stating; “Maybe she’s a little shy.”—heading right back in to try again.
The filmmakers could have gone the easy, cheap route by making Mario—the pudgy, middle-aged plumber—the bumbling comedic foil to the younger, “hipper” Luigi, but they didn’t. Hoskins’ Mario has an air of charm and dignity to him. The older brother raised Luigi like a parent, teaching him the ways of being an effective plumber and even giving dating advice (at one point humorously whispering to Luigi what he should say to Daisy). Early in the film, we see Mario take his girlfriend out for a fancy meal, drive her home and give a light kiss on her hand before saying goodnight. Later on, despite all the chaos and being unfairly arrested, Mario still has the decency to shake his appointed dinosaur lawyer’s hand. This is a gentleman plumber—a nice guy who shows respect to people and enjoys helping others.
It’s the little touches here that truly sell Hoskins as the older plumber. Whether comedic or serious, Hoskins’ expressions are entirely on point. I love the manner Hoskins delivers his lines when Luigi and Daisy inform him of the Scapellis’ sabotage:
Luigi: Mario! Scapelli’s flooding the site.
Daisy: We need your help.
Mario: Scapelli? (immediately gets serious and grabs his tools) Strap your belt on kid, we’re going in.
Hoskins’ lines are delivered as if he is a dignified king being told an army is invading. Mario takes his job seriously, and continuously utilizes his skills. tools and knowledge to benefit him and his allies’s situation. Say what you will about Hoskins’ Mario, but when has his video game counterpart ever utilized his plumbing skills during adventures (aside from investigating giant pipes)? If there’s a problem with Hoskins' performance, it’s that he’s just as confused about the film’s plot as the viewers are. Half of the man’s lines are some variant of “What is this?”, “What’s happening?” or “What are you doing?”, and I’m half-convinced these lines were as sincere for Hoskins as they are for Mario. Nonetheless, Hoskins is an absolute delight as Mario, quite possibly the best casting decision they could have made for the plumber (as well as the film’s best decision period).
While Hoskins is perfect for the role, Leguizamo as Luigi is not. His character and lines feel too forcibly hip, with the goal probably having been to appeal to the young 80s-90s generation. Dennis Hopper intentionally hams up his role as King Koopa, which was the far better choice over acting seriously in such a ridiculous story. There’s an amusing running gag of Koopa waiting for a pizza delivery and having it finally arrive during a critical, dramatic moment. Whereas I’m merely speculating Hoskins’ confusion, Hopper is pretty much confirmed to have had no clue what was happening in the plot—with his delivery having an almost Christopher Walken awkwardness to it. Yet as with Walken’s performances, there’s a charm to such strange delivery, and while not as delightful as Hoskins, Hopper’s performance is the next best thing in the film.
Hoskins and Hopper’s performances are key to keeping Super Mario Bros. entertaining, yet not enough to distract from what an absolute mess the film is. Super Mario Bros. has no clue where it’s going plot-wise and often takes overly convoluted routes when a simple path is staring the makers, and the viewers, right in their faces. There’s a scene where the brothers get arrested and Koopa disguises himself as their lawyer. At first, the plot’s direction seems to be going the smart, simple, and effective route:
- Koopa pretends to be a lawyer on the brothers’s side
- He convinces the brothers that the dimension’s King will let Daisy go and send all three back to their world safely if they hand over the rock
- After discovering the brothers lost the rock, Koopa cunningly alters his plan by telling the brothers Daisy will not be freed until the rock is found
- Koopa releases the brothers and has them do his dirty work of finding and retrieving the rock for him
Not only would such direction give the plot an objective and quickly set it into motion, as well as allow the brothers to adventure through this dog-eat-dog world and face various adversaries (perhaps some of Koopa’s rival enemies under a certain toad antagonist's leadership?), but also make Koopa out to be a far more devious foe. Yet that doesn’t happen—instead, Koopa quickly reveals he’s the King, emphasizes he’s evil and tries "devolving" the brothers, leading to a chaotic chase sequence where the brothers end up in a barren desert, wandering for a while with no real objective.
Various plot points are often ignored or downright forgotten. At one point the brothers are given mechanical jumping shoes only to immediately discard them despite still being useful. Then there’s poor Toad (Mojo Nixon), who gets devolved into a dimwitted Goomba and is never shown being evolved back. Super Mario Bros. is at its worst with technical and aesthetic elements. It’s pacing is all over the place and its editing is crudely done. Some scenes drag on for far too long, while others are so rushed one barely has time to comprehend what’s happening.
Whereas the video games's scenery is bright and colorful (save for the castle and/or boss levels), the film's scenery is dark and dreary (as was the craze during its release). Such tone change isn’t technically bad, but the makers were not consistent all-around—littering the film with cartoon sound effects and goofy scenes such as Mario and co. escaping Goombas by mattress sledding. The film doesn’t know if it wants to be serious with mature themes or “kid-friendly” with slapstick antics (a conflict of interest between the directors and the studio) and ends up being an ineffective hodgepodge of both.
Super Mario Bros. is the first of its kind—a theatrical release of a video game adaptation—yet it makes almost every misstep along the way. As an adaptation, the film fails to capture the video game series’s tone and charm. As a detached feature, the film is too convoluted and messy to effectively work on its own merits. Performances, however, keep Super Mario Bros. from being a total failure, specifically its delightfully memorable performance from Bob Hoskins and a humorously hammy one from Dennis Hopper. Watching these talented actors work in such a ridiculous setting gives the film a zany charm that’s simply too entertaining to completely dismiss. Super Mario Bros. fails at what it sets out to accomplish, yet unintentionally succeeds at being an amusing madcap absurdity.
