Big Eyes (Film Review)

On March 2, 2012, for the first time in my life, I walked out of a movie before it finished.  Project X was its name, and to this day consider it one of the most repugnant, offensive and distasteful films I've ever had the displeasure of viewing (though “film” is an awfully strong word to describe such garbage).  The film made me feel physically sick, and I nearly threw up in the bathroom after evacuating 30 minutes before the end.  I had hoped to never experience such agony again in theaters, though being a film reviewer I anticipated the inevitable; such misfortune occurred with Tim Burton‘s newest addition Big Eyes, which has the dishonor of being the second film I've walked out on (first since I've begun writing this blog).  Burton’s films have always been a mixed bag; I despise with a passion his original Batman, yet consider Batman Returns one of the finest superhero films ever created.  I hold high regard for his masterwork Ed Wood, but consider Mars Attacks one of the worst films ever created!  Now Big Eyes joins Mars Attacks as one of Burton’s biggest stinkers to ever see the light of day.  I may despise The Legend of Hercules, but in its awfulness there’s some semblance of unintentional humor in simply how bad it is…here, Big Eyes doesn't have the decency for any such pity. 

Exodus: Gods and Kings (Film Review)

Exodus: Gods and Kings is the fourth major film production of the story of Moses (following 1925’s Ten Commandments, 1956’s Ten Commandments remake, and 1998’s Prince of Egypt), not counting miniseries, TV movies and low budget remakes; so there’ll expectedly be comparisons throughout the review.  As such, this review will be clearer if you've seen at least 1-2 of the previous films.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (Film Review)

This isn't an action film, it’s a political film, a psychological film, and the best out of all three.

What If (Quick Review)

How does one go about turning love and romance (two of the most subjective feelings in life) into a successful film for a widespread audiences?  The answer is they don’t; to elaborate, they’re so many different spectrums of affection it’s practically impossible to create a single romance film that appeals to different demographics.  The Fault in Our Stars appealed to many teens and romantics (aka myself) yet was remote to those indifferent towards the particular theming; some find Before Sunrise a wonderful romance, while others can’t get emotionally invested in its style (such as Roger Ebert, who enjoyed the film, but not to the adoring extent of others).  One way around such diverse emotion is to combine romance with comedy (a “rom-com” if you will), which sounds absolutely asinine considering people’s subjectivity on humor, yet is surprisingly more mass appealing than serious romances (perhaps because it gives a film two areas of appeal; if a viewer dislikes the romance, they may enjoy the comedy).

The Expendables 3 (Film Review)

I love The Expendables series.  Not in any great movie/masterpiece way, but in a pure popcorn, testosterone-filled mode of mindless badassity (had to use a fake word just to describe such feelings).  Now I don’t consider myself much a “Spike TV, Rated M for Manly” type of guy, but there’s something about The Expendables series which exhilarates me into a series of joyous, unadulterated giggling (which may reinforce my earlier statement).  Strange, considering the series is built upon aspects I usually hate: a poor storyline, flat protagonists, one-dimensional villains and a complete overabundance of every action cliché imaginable…even stranger though, is these reasons are EXACTLY why I love The Expendables.