Sometimes there are certain films viewers watch not for plot or any story-like structure, but instead for the promise of an epic feature (possibly features) that guarantees to knock their socks off! These films are usually popcorn films, with the grand feature being a combination of unique action/horror/comedy sequences plus notable character(s). Jaws had its title killer shark, Taken made Liam Neeson an intimidating ass-kicking machine, The Avengers united multiple superheroes from different films, and Dracula Untold has the Vampire Legend fighting an army…by turning thousands of bats into a giant fist! Occasionally these films end up far superior than initially expected (i.e. Jaws and The Avengers), other times they fulfill their promised feature (Taken’s plot may be sub-standard, but Liam Neeson certainly kicks ass); yet the majority of times these films either fail to live up to their hype, or fail in general (i.e. Hercules, All the Transformers, The Hangover Sequels, The Purge, Taken 2, Iron Man 2, Movie 43, Pacific Rim, Most Children-Aimed Comedies of the 90s, etc…). Take the newest Godzilla film for example; it had two prominent aspects (Bryan Cranston & the big guy himself) yet to many viewers dismay, one dies fairly early in the film, while the other gets around 5 minutes of screen time. Despite finding other enjoyable elements to Godzilla, I can understand the disappointment people felt from being misguided by its trailers; I’m surprisingly pleased to write however, that Dracula Untold lives up to its asinine yet awesome trailer.
The film understands its audience well: we’re not here for plot, we could care less about secondary characters; all we want is Dracula fighting in satisfying action scenes, which is precisely what we get. There’s no Hercules bullsh!#%ing here; no trailer revealing awesome fights, only to have them used up in the first three minutes. We came to see Dracula fight, and we get plenty of Dracula fighting! The film practically breezes through its bland, cliché and so-bad-its-laughable plot via exposition (presented by one-dimensional villains, who are evil simply because good is dumb); swiftly getting right into the action sequences. There are four noticeable fights between Dracula and the Persian army, with the first and last battles being the film’s highlights (I’ll note the fight shown in its trailers is NOT the final fight, but actually the third). Each battle changes the scenario for our vampire to fight: with the first featuring Dracula as a f@$%ing one-man army against a legion of 1000 soldiers, the second featuring a more stealthier forest battle, the third involving LOTS of bats, and the last surprising me with a new vampire technique when I thought the film had run fresh out of ideas. To be absolutely clear, do not see Dracula Untold if you desire plot, unique characters, or refreshing storytelling; if however, you desire seeing Dracula kick ass in multiple battle sequences, then you won’t be disappointed by such a guilty pleasure.
