It…is not for me.
I walked out of It around an hour into its runtime, because I knew the film wasn’t for me. This isn’t the first time I’ve walked out of a film—in 2014 I walked out of Big Eyes, and in 2012 I walked out of Project X, a film that physically made me sick. It, however, is the earliest I’ve ever left a screening. The reason is I found no enjoyment in watching the film. It is downright repulsive and ugly to watch, lacking a single moment of genuine appeal.
I’ve watched a good chunk of Steven King film adaptations, and I love several of them (such as Carrie, The Shining, Stand by Me, Misery, and The Shawshank Redemption), yet I’ve also read a few of his books—one of them being It. It is definitely the most unpleasant Steven King story I’ve ever experienced. The book contains everything I dislike about Steven King’s writing: it’s chock-full of his worst clichés—the ones I despise with a passion—and contains an unnecessarily convoluted plot with bizarre scenes, such as a turtle who created the universe and a children’s gangbang (the latter being one of the most out of nowhere, baffling scenes to ever occur in fiction). It’s 2017 adaptation removes the ridiculous plot elements (my wife, who saw the entire film, confirmed there is no turtle-god or gangbang scene later in the film) and, instead, combines the story with the 80s-loving Stranger Things. The film adaptation, however, remains relatively faithful to the book’s horrible clichés, while adding in its own array of irritating 80s tropes.
It is a truly repugnant experience for me. Everything I hate in storytelling is present here. Every kid has a bland, formulaic parent such as the main character’s emotionally distant father, the female’s sexually abusive father, the bully’s ill-tempered father, etc. The kids range from forgettable, to stereotypical, to downright obnoxious. There’s the token black kid, who also has the token wise black man (a staple in King's stories) to guide him. There’s the token cool female tomboy who all the boys want to have sex with (they don’t in this version) and is promiscuous most likely because of her, aforementioned, sexually abusive father (because writers seem to believe sexual abuse is the only way a promiscuous female can be likable/sympathetic). Then there’s the variety of nerdy white boy characters, such as the fat kid, the germophobe kid, and the snarky perverted kid who’s just a grade-A asshole.
Then there are the bullies...god help me. Allow me to emphasize how much I HATE OVER-THE-TOP BULLYING! It’s right up there with gratuitous rape as my most hated trope in all of fiction. Bullying requires particular skill and wariness to effectively work in fiction—It takes bullying and dials it up to 11 with extremely exaggerated, one-dimensional harassment, and it’s absolutely awful in every way possible. It’s sickening, unpleasant to watch, and any real karma to the bullies is through superficial revenge or monster murder. The film’s so-called horror elements aren’t scary at all; while they’re far from the worst parts of It (and can get somewhat creative), their overblown goriness is more silly to watch than scary. As silly as these scenes can be, however, humor is not derived from them, nor from any of the film’s intentionally comedic scenes. It neither made me laugh nor get scared once throughout the hour I viewed.
I usually wouldn’t emphasize “for me” in my posts since, after all, it’s my work and thoughts alone and should be considered as such unless stated otherwise. Yet here I really want to emphasize the “for me” aspect, because unlike films such as Boyhood, I don’t believe It to be an inherently awful film. The director clearly put a lot of effort into making the film, as well as possessing an unmistakable admiration for the source material—It just happens to be everything I dislike with storytelling and character tropes. It's failure for me is not completely the director's fault, but rather has, mostly, to do with its adapted source material. It is not a story for me, and it never will be. Everything about It is a walking-talking infuriating cliché: the story, the trope-infested characters, the time period, the bullies. The film has tame scares, lame jokes, and is entirely unpleasant to watch. If you enjoy the book version, or enjoy Stranger Things, then you’ll enjoy It. If not, then I recommend you avoid It at all costs!
P.S. Red balloons are not scary and never will be.
