Thursday, June 20, 2013

Man of Steel (Film Review)

Well it looks like the Superman curse has continued into the 2010’s, and boy it hasn't been this bad since the 1980’s with Superman III and (shutters slightly) Superman IV: The Quest for PeaceMan of Steel is such an awful excuse for a superhero movie that my jaw literally dropped open near the end of this over-lengthy bore of a head banger.  The original Superman (1978), while silly and goofy in hindsight, is a masterpiece of popcorn superhero flicks; containing all the joy, energy, excitement, adventure, and great characters you’d expect from a great film.  Man of Steel tries to act more serious and realistic, and by doing so removes all aspects that made the first so wonderfully enjoyable; instead replacing it with over two hours of shaky fights, bland characters, and enough stupidity and plot holes to make the original’s time travel scene look logical.

Nearly everything found in Man of Steel is unoriginal; being done exactly like the first two films of the franchise yet without all the fun, joy, and personality.  Kal-El, or Superman (Henry Cavill), is sent to the planet Earth by his mother (Ayelet Zurer) and father (Russell Crowe) after their planet, Krypton, is foolishly destroyed by their own people.  Superman is raised in Kansas by forester parents under the name Clark Kent, and begins to travel across the country trying to find a purpose.  Suddenly former Kryptonian General Zod (Michael Shannon) arrives at Earth with other subordinates to look for the codex, a device that can recreate Krypton on another planet.  Superman must defend the Earth against these evil forces, while also dealing with the citizens of Earth viewing himself as a possible evil alien.

So where do I begin to describe this disgrace of a superhero film?  Oh I know, how about how bland and lifeless the characters are.  In the original Superman, the cast show so much personally and energy throughout the entire film.  They look like they’re having a lot of fun with the film; and no matter how silly a scene gets the actor/actress seem to give it their full attention.  The same cannot be said for Man of Steel, as nearly every single character looks bored, and lifeless; each introduction as forgettable as the last one.  Our main superhero is a bore from start to finish; never expressing much character, always looking bored when he’s supposed to look emotional, and probably the most forgettable character in the entire film (and to reemphasize again, he's the title character).  Amy Adam’s portrayal of Lois Lane sprouts at least a little more energy, but is paled in comparison to the tough, hard-edged reporter she is in the comics and original film.  As for the other characters…I really don’t remember much about them.  I mean there's Russell Crowe as Superman’s father Jor-El, who is bland, stale and when compared to Marlon Brando’s version of this character…well there really is no comparison.  There were some other military guys, a couple colleagues of Lois’s who never got any screen time…yeah I’m sorry but none of these character were memorable in the least.  I remember a scene where Lois’ boss and two other employees were close to getting killed by some machine the bad guys made, and they kept on focusing on the machine getting closer to crushing them as Superman raced against time to stop it.  But the question remains, why should I care if these characters get crushed?  Before this they only had about one or two scenes with less than a minutes worth of screen time; so why should i show concern towards these unimportant characters getting crushed!? 

But hey, to be fair even the main cast didn't get much development at that.  The supposed chemistry between Superman and Lois was way too underdeveloped throughout the film; as both characters rarely shared major screen time, and when they did it felt either forced or bland.  This got to the point where when they kissed it seemed both entirely unrealistic and completely cardboard.  Michael Shannon as General Zod was one of the only characters who showed some decent emotion (despite it frequently bordering/crossing overacting).  In fact he seemed to have the most complex story-line out of all the characters and by the end I was feeling a little sympathy for the guy.  Without spoiling anything major, there’s a scene near the end where General Zod reveals why he’s done all his cruel actions and then gives a very tragic felt speech.  You’d think that Superman would show some emotion to this sad revelation (whether it’d be pity, compassion, anger, anything), but NOPE!  Instead Superman gives General Zod one of the dumbest smug looks I've ever seen from a superhero.  It basically gave off a, duhhh I don’t care at all, look of pure apathy…and once again let me reemphasize, this is supposed to be our main hero!

And then comes the moral themes and plot holes of the film; boy were these bad!  But to talk about them means I must talk about the plot so:

SPOILERS!!! (will be from this point on so don’t read below if you haven’t seen the film and don’t want it spoiled)

So because there are so many, I've decided to number and address some of the more annoying one’s individually:

1. Ok, so apparently Superman was given the choice of free will by his mother and father and sent to Earth to choose his own destiny.  Yet when Superman first meets the recorded version of his father, Jor-El verbally tells his son that he must help the people of Earth, guide them, and protect them from evil (so much for free choice; maybe Superman really wanted to go explore the Mars or search for other planets to live on).  Why is it his responsibility to protect them?  Sure it’s the righteous thing to do, but Superman should make that decision himself, not be instructed too.

2. Speaking of bad father figures, what’s up with Clark (Superman)’s foster dad’s mixed moral messages.  At times he’s telling his son to lay low, not use his powers, and that he should think about becoming something modest like a farmer; but at other times he saying stuff like, “You’ll greatly affect the world someday” and that he believes Clark to be destined for greatness…yeah, good way of confusing the poor kid (no wonder he has no idea how to react to anything).

3. Why didn't Clark save his foster father from the tornado?  I know he held up his hand but…it’s his freaking father!  Screw it if others see him use super speed, if it’s between saving your beloved father or letting the town’s folk see him (who by the way already suspect he has powers and think it’s an act of God), then go save him!  I mean what a horrible weight to put on your mother who knows her son has super speed yet doesn't use it to save her true love.

4. Why did the villains bring Lois on the ship!?  Oh, because they needed to read her mind to see if she knows where the codex is...really!?  I mean that’s a pretty dumb reason for them to bring her on the ship.  And wouldn't Superman’s mind know everything she already knew about the codex?  Like, if he gave it to her then they would see that in Superman’s mind and then they could go get her (quite easily too since Earth’s forces couldn't stop them anyway).  And if they read her mind, wouldn't they have seen Superman giving her that S shaped key?  Even if they weren't reading her mind for the S shaped key, they were looking for a small object involving Superman so the key might have accidentally popped up in his mind anyway.  And even if for some stupid reason all this happened, WHY WAS THE CONTROL PANEL TO THE SHIP IN THE PRISON HOLD!!!?  The only reason I can understand Lois being on the ship was so she could technically “save” superman, and be the one to figure out how to stop the villains because the writers couldn't think of a better way to make she seem useful (and frankly it didn't work, cause she was still pretty helpless and needed to me saved by Superman a dozen other times).

5. Why didn't Superman try and get General Zod away from Metropolis during their final fight?  Couldn't he have used his super-fast flight to grab and bring Zod to a more deserted area (you know, like he did earlier in the film).  Or maybe just run away and make Zod follow him since Zod was determined to kill Superman at the time.  For someone who is apparently trying to defend the people of Earth he sure seemed fine with bashing Zod up in a populated city (unlike in Superman II where he gives himself up to save the people); destroying buildings, causing havoc, destruction and explosions everywhere (not to mention most likely costing America billions/trillions in damage costs, most likely destroying the American economy as a whole).

With all this said you’d think it couldn't get worse, but it did.  The editing was terrible, the shaky cam got annoying, and the transitions were abysmal.  So many awful scenes, like when Superman and Lois kiss after the near destruction of the entire Metropolis (most likely surrounded by hundreds of dead bodies); or when Superman is forced to tragically kill Zod and is shown cries in utter despair, LITERALLY followed by a scene where Superman is completely fine, jokes about the military trying to find his cape, and an army woman saying she thinks Superman is hot.  The scenes involving Superman’s childhood contained every cliché about childhood ever (including I swear a shot for shot remake of the bus scene from the original Spider-Man movie).  The movie is way too long, way too boring, and contains so many plot-holes.  Man of Steel is not worth seeing for that matter, and if they end up making a sequel to it then you will end up finding me waiting for it to come out on Netflix.  If you really want to see a good Superman film, watch the original one and its sequel; they may silly, but from what I've seen in this film, that's probably the best way to portray the man of steel.

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