Goosebumps (Film Review)

As a kid I rarely read the Goosebumps books—frankly because their covers scared the crap out of me!  The only one I recall reading is The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight, which both terrified and gave me nightmares.  I have seen several episodes of the Canadian television show however (which the film subtly references), enough to predict nostalgic fans’ being pleased with the film’s overall result.  For unfamiliar viewers such as I, Goosebumps is passable entertainment primarily for two reasons—the imaginative monsters and Jack Black.  Without them, Goosebumps would be an unbearably plain film—with stock characters in a surprisingly ordinary story.  In fact the first 15 minutes (noticeably lacking both Black and monsters) had me staring vacantly at the screen, waiting for something interesting to occur—but I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Bridge of Spies (Film Review)

It’s amazing how after five decades of directing, Steven Spielberg can still create great entertainment.  Perhaps even more amazing is how he can take an obscure Cold War incident—which could likely be found as a passing history lesson students sleep through—and turn it into an engaging blockbuster drama.  Such talent is a gift which truly keeps giving, with Bridge of Spies another success in Spielberg’s quest (alongside some witty dialogue by the Coen Brothers) to make history entertaining AND informative for everyone.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Controversial (Film Analysis/Minority Opinion)

The date is February 26, 2012—the academy awards are celebrating their 84^th ceremony with the theoretical best films of 2011.  The best picture nominees contain several popular and/or critically acclaimed films, yet also several controversial picks—The Artist finds detractors shocked at its primarily silent format, while The Tree of Life gains disdain for its incredibly unconventional style.  Yet at the controversial peak is Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, a polarized film some believe the worst best picture nominee ever.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (Quick Review)

I like Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  The film’s enjoyably goofy, satirically funny, and surprisingly sweet thanks to its very likable protagonist Paul Blart (played by the loveable Kevin James).  Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is the opposite—it’s boring, remarkably trite, and unexpectedly dark despite its PG rating.  In the first two minutes Mall Cop 2 harshly divorces Blart from the previous film’s love interest (after only six days married), then brutally kills his mother with a milk truck!  It’s an incredibly dark and depressing way to begin a supposed family film.  Mall Cop 2 then hits the sequel reset button (which I despise in stories), repeating the near exact premise in a different setting—making Mall Cop 2 remarkably comparable to Die Hard 2 (following the pattern of Mall Cop being a parody to Die Hard).  Similar to how Die Hard 2 fails as an action film (I’ll make a mental note to review why I hate Die Hard 2), so does Mall Cop 2 fail as a comedy.

Hotel Transylvania 2 (Film Review)

2015’s been a surprisingly positive year for Adam Sandler—first there was his enjoyable video game comedy Pixels, and now comes Hotel Transylvania 2, the superior sequel to the passably “meh” 2012 Hotel Transylvania.  It’s livelier, wittier, better animated, and noticeably more thoughtful in plot.  Hotel Transylvania 2 begins with Dracula’s (Adam Sandler) daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez) getting married to Johnny (Andy Samberg) at the hotel—humans and ghouls alike invited to the celebration.  The film then appreciatively goes through various stages leading to the main plot—Mavis taking her dad to fly before revealing she’s pregnant, Drac excitingly preparing for his grandson’s arrival, the birth of his half-human, half-vampire grandson Dennis (Asher Blinkoff), Dennis’ first birthday, his first words, etc. (A lovely way to handle such scenario rather than directly skipping to his near-fifth birthday).

The Martian (Film Review)

The Martian (like this review) jumps immediately into the story—NASA astronaut Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is part of the Ares III space exploration on Mars (presumably set in the near future) when an unexpected dust storm hits, forcing the crew to evacuate their artificial shelter and leave the planet.  While evacuating Mark is struck by a blown off satellite dish, knocking him unconscious; due to misinformation Mark is presumed dead and abandoned by his dismayed crew.  An injured Mark awakes the next day, alive and alone on the barren planet for (what he presumes) at least three years before the next shuttle arrives.  If the oxygen tank breaks he’ll suffocate, if the water tank breaks he’ll die from dehydration, if there’s a tent breach he’ll implode—the food supply is limited and eventually Mark will starve.  Fortunately Mark’s a botanist, and with a combination of potato rations, Martian dirt and his own feces, begins cultivating a garden using the shelter’s artificial habitat.

The Visit (Film Review)

The Visit is a film theaters haven’t shown in a long while—a GOOD M. Night Shyamalan film!  And not just any good film, but one which is spoopy, scary fun!